They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
