Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
