Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
Randomize
