He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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