There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Randomize
