I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
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