hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
Randomize
