We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
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