I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
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