He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Randomize
