oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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