I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
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