Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
Randomize
