super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
