I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Randomize
