1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
