I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Randomize
