i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
Randomize
