There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
