gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
I wear drunk well.
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
Randomize
