What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
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