If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
