She went from zero to smokin in five shots
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
I have so many feelings about this burrito
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
Randomize
