he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
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