im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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