you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
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