We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
