To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
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