Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Randomize
