i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
Randomize
