My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
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