this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
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