In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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