I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize
