My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Randomize
