we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
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