It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Randomize
