I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
