After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Randomize
