made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
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