Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
Randomize
