It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
Randomize
