so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
