you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Randomize
