I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Randomize
