is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Randomize
