you guys were way drunker than both of me
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
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