dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
Randomize
