yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
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