did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
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