I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
