Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
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