So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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