Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize