her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
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