He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
He did a backflip because drugs
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize