Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize
