dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
