Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
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