No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
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