pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
But break dance skills will only take you so far
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
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