Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
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