Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
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