Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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