hotel room ftw
So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
Randomize