i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
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