he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize