Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
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