Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Randomize
