All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
Randomize
