you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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