How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
Randomize
