do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize
