I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
Randomize
