you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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